I want to get out of this...

Lord I am impatient. Lord can I struggle with You until You have blessed me. I am here in KL with my girlfriend, I can't afford to go where she is. Can't afford to meet up with her.

I feel so pathetic again. I really hate this feeling that money is stopping me from achieving things...

Lord bless me. You know my heart. Am I ready to be blessed?

10 minus 1 is 0

As the lord taught one of the prophets through his wife, God is teaching me through Jolyn.

The 9 right and 1 careless (not mistake) that is not pardonable.

I admit to watching and m these few days without telling her, spiritually she can sense it, she got angry unknowingly. She can't even explain why. It is as if she knew and she was angry abt that. Remember how she was utterly disappointed. God would feel the same way, it would be so hard to reconcile, but for love.

Thank you God. Thank you Bei.

The 1 mistake will lead to disappointment, God will say the same thing, how can I rely on you? God needs a servant who is accountable and clean in all aspects.

Departures, Take-offs and Arrivals

Hardwork ideas

Instead of the ancient 一支香 to describe duration.
I want to learn how to measure my study time with 一支笔.

I want to find out how much it takes to finish a ballpoint ink pen.
Gotta start doing my notes on various things.

When I am back in Msia, I want to start my day early, breakfast, exercise and study.

Meetings, Building ups, See you soons...

Sending Bei off today.

She told me three things:
1) not to (study hard)
2) to miss her
3) to eat well.

She also told me that I have the keys to her heart. She trusts me, I know and I need to treasure this.

It is going to be 8months that we have been together. In 5 days. I must learn how to keep her close to my heart.

These 8months have been a good build ups. There have been moment of pain, moments of patience, moments of forgiveness and moments of fun and laughter.

When I send her off, I literally felt like a part of my soul tore. I could feel the tears well up. When she was making the turn towards the security check, I said to her for the last time in a month," Bei yang yi ke!"

In a months time, we will be in KL and Bangkok. Quite excited for that (:
----

I want to send flowers to her on the 26th. Perhaps this time I will send her a code.

Starting on different footing.

I was told by a wise woman that I was hardworking. But there is no point, because I am starting on different footing.

Compared to others, I am way behind.

So, white hare, this is a game of catch up!