Met Alex for squash. First time going to that place. Yet I didn't do my homework how to get there. Found out last minute and estimated the timing really tight.
I was late for 15mins. /:
I will not buy myself another watch if I can't be early for 300days.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
1000
1) 21/07 -
Jude 2-4
2 Mercy unto you, and peace, and love, be multiplied. 3 Beloved, when I gave all diligence to write unto you of the common salvation, it was needful for me to write unto you, and exhort you that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints. 4 For there are certain men crept in unawares, who were before of old ordained to this condemnation, ungodly men, turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness, and denying the only Lord God, and our Lord Jesus Christ.
Lord You are Your word. You are all powerful. Your word is all powerful. Speak to us through Your word. Hit us with your power. Amen.
2) 26/07 -
Gal2:16
Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.
3) 28/07
Phil4:6
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
4) 31st July
Behind Abraham’s attitude was his faith that God was ordering things. He believed God’s word to him “I am your very great reward” (Gen 15,1). There was no need for him to live a life of strain and anxiety about loss or gain. If he trusted God, God’s plan would work out in his affairs. He didn’t want to have what God didn’t want him to have. King David, a thousand years later found the same truth. He adopted Abraham’s outlook and enjoyed the great advantage of letting God take over. He wrote a song of surprised gratitude (2 Samuel 23) and described God’s plan for him in his house as being “ordered in all things and sure” (v.5). Jesus put the principle of Abraham into His famous promise of the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 6:33. “Seek first the Kingdom God and his righteousness and all these things will be given you as well”. He said “Don’t worry about your life. Do not worry about tomorrow.” Blessed? REINHARD BONNKE
5) 2nd Aug
Eph 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
6) 12th Aug
Ezekiel 45:18 “Thus says the Lord GOD: In the first month, on the first day of the month, you shall take a bull from the herd without blemish, and purify the sanctuary. 19 The priest shall take some of the blood of the sin offering and put it on the doorposts of the temple, the four corners of the ledge of the altar, and the posts of the gate of the inner court. 20 You shall do the SAME on the seventh day of the month for anyone who has sinned through ERROR or IGNORANCE; so you shall make atonement for the temple.
[Can you believe it dad, error and ignorance is a sin. - but I see the significance of the blood of the bull: it takes away productivity. Bull used to give strength to the farmer, killing a bull would mean that planting and harvest would be slower. We are taking the longer cut if we use the short cut.
Place that the blood is placed: 2 temple doorpost, 4 sides of the altar, 2 posts of the inner courts. Those are ALL THE ENTRANCES: it would mean that we are reconciled with God and have access to Him again]
7) 13th Aug
1 Cor 3: 6 I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.
16th Aug
8) Ephesians 1:4-6
According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: 5 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, 6 To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.
Jude 2-4
2 Mercy unto you, and peace, and love, be multiplied. 3 Beloved, when I gave all diligence to write unto you of the common salvation, it was needful for me to write unto you, and exhort you that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints. 4 For there are certain men crept in unawares, who were before of old ordained to this condemnation, ungodly men, turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness, and denying the only Lord God, and our Lord Jesus Christ.
Lord You are Your word. You are all powerful. Your word is all powerful. Speak to us through Your word. Hit us with your power. Amen.
2) 26/07 -
Gal2:16
Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the faith of Christ, and not by the works of the law: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified.
3) 28/07
Phil4:6
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
4) 31st July
Behind Abraham’s attitude was his faith that God was ordering things. He believed God’s word to him “I am your very great reward” (Gen 15,1). There was no need for him to live a life of strain and anxiety about loss or gain. If he trusted God, God’s plan would work out in his affairs. He didn’t want to have what God didn’t want him to have. King David, a thousand years later found the same truth. He adopted Abraham’s outlook and enjoyed the great advantage of letting God take over. He wrote a song of surprised gratitude (2 Samuel 23) and described God’s plan for him in his house as being “ordered in all things and sure” (v.5). Jesus put the principle of Abraham into His famous promise of the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 6:33. “Seek first the Kingdom God and his righteousness and all these things will be given you as well”. He said “Don’t worry about your life. Do not worry about tomorrow.” Blessed? REINHARD BONNKE
5) 2nd Aug
Eph 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
6) 12th Aug
Ezekiel 45:18 “Thus says the Lord GOD: In the first month, on the first day of the month, you shall take a bull from the herd without blemish, and purify the sanctuary. 19 The priest shall take some of the blood of the sin offering and put it on the doorposts of the temple, the four corners of the ledge of the altar, and the posts of the gate of the inner court. 20 You shall do the SAME on the seventh day of the month for anyone who has sinned through ERROR or IGNORANCE; so you shall make atonement for the temple.
[Can you believe it dad, error and ignorance is a sin. - but I see the significance of the blood of the bull: it takes away productivity. Bull used to give strength to the farmer, killing a bull would mean that planting and harvest would be slower. We are taking the longer cut if we use the short cut.
Place that the blood is placed: 2 temple doorpost, 4 sides of the altar, 2 posts of the inner courts. Those are ALL THE ENTRANCES: it would mean that we are reconciled with God and have access to Him again]
7) 13th Aug
1 Cor 3: 6 I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.
16th Aug
8) Ephesians 1:4-6
According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: 5 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, 6 To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Out
B is out with her rich friends. (dinner and sing k) The dinner that I can't afford now. With people whom live in another world.
They bought her a coffee machine. One that is £500. Lied to her that his girlfriend wants one and that he broke up with his girlfriend.
There is a friend who has a car who will send her back.
And she went out borrowing £60 from PY.
They bought her a coffee machine. One that is £500. Lied to her that his girlfriend wants one and that he broke up with his girlfriend.
There is a friend who has a car who will send her back.
And she went out borrowing £60 from PY.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Brink.
I have £3.
The journey to Holborn is £4.30.
My tubecard is left with £0.45.
I am late for my dining session.
What should I feel?
The journey to Holborn is £4.30.
My tubecard is left with £0.45.
I am late for my dining session.
What should I feel?
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Neighbours
I am surrounded by humans who give up and those who succumb.
Laziness and sleepiness is something that we all have to fight against. This includes idleness.
I pray that I will always be focused and that I will hate idleness.
Laziness and sleepiness is something that we all have to fight against. This includes idleness.
I pray that I will always be focused and that I will hate idleness.
Up
Morning. She didnt want to hug me, then she wants to kiss me.
The last I kissed her she stared at me and said that she hates me. After that she started crying and refused to tell me why. She rather watch movie than talk to me.
So I didnt kiss her. Now she's watching her movie again. When I told her that the last I kiss her she go angry, she said that she don't have energy to deal with me.
She doesn't appreciate me whilst I am here. She always only wants it her way.
The last I kissed her she stared at me and said that she hates me. After that she started crying and refused to tell me why. She rather watch movie than talk to me.
So I didnt kiss her. Now she's watching her movie again. When I told her that the last I kiss her she go angry, she said that she don't have energy to deal with me.
She doesn't appreciate me whilst I am here. She always only wants it her way.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
SZ
1) hardworking and brains
2) hardworking
3) brains
4) none.
Am meeting up with SZ. He taught me to be hardworking and happiness will come. Not seek for happiness as a goal. Because that won't come.
2) hardworking
3) brains
4) none.
Am meeting up with SZ. He taught me to be hardworking and happiness will come. Not seek for happiness as a goal. Because that won't come.
CK
I am at his / her brother's. At times like these when there are manipulative jerks, I regret that my credentials aren't higher or better than his.
An obvious basis of comparison that most of the time can't be helped.
When she shows me fear to appear in front of him. To me, it seems he still has a hold of her. Not that she hasn't gone over her, but he has a hold of her.
An obvious basis of comparison that most of the time can't be helped.
When she shows me fear to appear in front of him. To me, it seems he still has a hold of her. Not that she hasn't gone over her, but he has a hold of her.
SZ
1) hardworking and brains
2) hardworking
3) brains
4) none.
Am meeting up with SZ. He taught me to be hardworking and happiness will come. Not seek for happiness as a goal. Because that won't come.
2) hardworking
3) brains
4) none.
Am meeting up with SZ. He taught me to be hardworking and happiness will come. Not seek for happiness as a goal. Because that won't come.
Friday, July 13, 2012
100 ways to motivate yourself.
No fix personality. - we change along the way.
Choices we make for our thinking - determines who we are.
True motivation, action is required.
Goal without action is a day dream.
Motion creates the self.
1) create a vision. Arnold Swar - Same process from body building. Who you wanna be and live as if you are already living it. Not wait for the vision.
2) tell a true lie. Lie to yourself, express it as a fantasy. Without a picture of your higher self
3) leave comfort zone. Only challenge will transform us. Change us and make us better. We are taught to be in the comfort zone - get out!
4) find your key. Master key to riches - Napoleon Hill. Spark the fire - completely rebuild thinking, thought by thought. New optimistic energy/ attitude. 'self disciple to take complete control of you mind, only thing with complete control is your mind'
5) plan your work. (too depress or upset for self creation) perfect time for creation - transmutation to change! Picture of who we want to be. Work energy of purpose. 1hr planning - 3hrs of planning. crisis reaction. Most crisis is result of failure to plan.
6) move your goal posts. Too small and too vague - large and specific power goal. The dream that drive you. the EFFECT the goal has on you.
7) dribble with your other hand. Usu. dominant hand. Not that you can't but you havent. Formation of a habit. Reprogram your habit of thinking. a) pessimistic vs b) optimistic. Change one thought at a time.
8) play your character. Thought processes - doing that character that we want to be. Eg Spock.
9) sit quietly completely alone. Observe insides coming out. Allow true dream in life to take clarity. Are you living your own dream or someone else's.
10) use the right chemicals. Energising chemicals in your system. Have fun!! Laugh, hug. Don't search for something fun. It is in yourself.
11) leave high school. Before high Sch we are creative dreamers. FEARING ppl think. across to look back. Defining life based on what others feel. Emerson: why shld the way I feel be determined by someone else.
12) lose face! Don't care abt what ppl think. . Reneo burgeon.
13) sing without feeling. Be a performer. Act like you already feel like you want to feel. We do not sing because we are happy but we sing because we are happy.
14) kill the television. Which side of the screen. Passively watching them having fun.
15) read yourself a story. Abraham Lincoln: read daily news aloud. Remember longer. Important material - read aloud.
16) get on our deathbed. Plan to do great things some day when we feel like it. Vividly imagine our last hours. Self motivation. Jesus!
17) be lazy to begin with. Henry Ford: break down the jobs to small pieces. Not how fast but you doing it. Irony: slower, finish faster! mental picture fast is not a happy mental picture.
18) politely walk away from those that don't support your goal. Kelvin Coolige- pessimist don't create.
19) create your own game. Coaches who response. Walls will create sideline. Let the game respond to you!!!
20) find your inner Einstein. Every human has the capacity of genius. Commit to using your imagination. Grown ups use their imagination for worrying (colourful picture) of the worse case scenario. dreaming is the design state of creation.
21) Feel good first. Feeling good until goal will make it no happen. Happiness is a right and it shouldn't be determine by our goals.
22) run towards your fear. Death kills us once. Fear kills us over and over again.
23) just be unexpected. We are all creative. Creativity is nothing to do with being original. Just be unexpected. Unexpected solutions !
24) create your relationship. Lucio - we can only fly embracing each other.
25) Be where you are. Most of us don't focus, we feel psychic chaos. Focus on what you want and it will come.
26) act like a hero. Not a sign of weakness but strength. What's possible for hero. Collect books. Let heroes life inspire you. Great self-motivation. Instead of looking up to hero, better to look into them.
27) everyone has willpower. Accept its existence. It is like a muscle. Not external but internal.
28) say no to yourself. Discipline - be your own disciple. See yourself as a stronger person. Self-respect. Abraham ?? Psychologist. Emerson. William - do 2 things that you don't want to do.
29) increase resolve. Use new word connection. Failure is success for weight lifting. Use the power of language.
30) reprogramme yourself. Delete all the negative story of the media. Be your own story. Be what's happening.
31)
Choices we make for our thinking - determines who we are.
True motivation, action is required.
Goal without action is a day dream.
Motion creates the self.
1) create a vision. Arnold Swar - Same process from body building. Who you wanna be and live as if you are already living it. Not wait for the vision.
2) tell a true lie. Lie to yourself, express it as a fantasy. Without a picture of your higher self
3) leave comfort zone. Only challenge will transform us. Change us and make us better. We are taught to be in the comfort zone - get out!
4) find your key. Master key to riches - Napoleon Hill. Spark the fire - completely rebuild thinking, thought by thought. New optimistic energy/ attitude. 'self disciple to take complete control of you mind, only thing with complete control is your mind'
5) plan your work. (too depress or upset for self creation) perfect time for creation - transmutation to change! Picture of who we want to be. Work energy of purpose. 1hr planning - 3hrs of planning. crisis reaction. Most crisis is result of failure to plan.
6) move your goal posts. Too small and too vague - large and specific power goal. The dream that drive you. the EFFECT the goal has on you.
7) dribble with your other hand. Usu. dominant hand. Not that you can't but you havent. Formation of a habit. Reprogram your habit of thinking. a) pessimistic vs b) optimistic. Change one thought at a time.
8) play your character. Thought processes - doing that character that we want to be. Eg Spock.
9) sit quietly completely alone. Observe insides coming out. Allow true dream in life to take clarity. Are you living your own dream or someone else's.
10) use the right chemicals. Energising chemicals in your system. Have fun!! Laugh, hug. Don't search for something fun. It is in yourself.
11) leave high school. Before high Sch we are creative dreamers. FEARING ppl think. across to look back. Defining life based on what others feel. Emerson: why shld the way I feel be determined by someone else.
12) lose face! Don't care abt what ppl think. . Reneo burgeon.
13) sing without feeling. Be a performer. Act like you already feel like you want to feel. We do not sing because we are happy but we sing because we are happy.
14) kill the television. Which side of the screen. Passively watching them having fun.
15) read yourself a story. Abraham Lincoln: read daily news aloud. Remember longer. Important material - read aloud.
16) get on our deathbed. Plan to do great things some day when we feel like it. Vividly imagine our last hours. Self motivation. Jesus!
17) be lazy to begin with. Henry Ford: break down the jobs to small pieces. Not how fast but you doing it. Irony: slower, finish faster! mental picture fast is not a happy mental picture.
18) politely walk away from those that don't support your goal. Kelvin Coolige- pessimist don't create.
19) create your own game. Coaches who response. Walls will create sideline. Let the game respond to you!!!
20) find your inner Einstein. Every human has the capacity of genius. Commit to using your imagination. Grown ups use their imagination for worrying (colourful picture) of the worse case scenario. dreaming is the design state of creation.
21) Feel good first. Feeling good until goal will make it no happen. Happiness is a right and it shouldn't be determine by our goals.
22) run towards your fear. Death kills us once. Fear kills us over and over again.
23) just be unexpected. We are all creative. Creativity is nothing to do with being original. Just be unexpected. Unexpected solutions !
24) create your relationship. Lucio - we can only fly embracing each other.
25) Be where you are. Most of us don't focus, we feel psychic chaos. Focus on what you want and it will come.
26) act like a hero. Not a sign of weakness but strength. What's possible for hero. Collect books. Let heroes life inspire you. Great self-motivation. Instead of looking up to hero, better to look into them.
27) everyone has willpower. Accept its existence. It is like a muscle. Not external but internal.
28) say no to yourself. Discipline - be your own disciple. See yourself as a stronger person. Self-respect. Abraham ?? Psychologist. Emerson. William - do 2 things that you don't want to do.
29) increase resolve. Use new word connection. Failure is success for weight lifting. Use the power of language.
30) reprogramme yourself. Delete all the negative story of the media. Be your own story. Be what's happening.
31)
Body language
Gesture before talking.
Point (gesture) and look in congruence. Eyes tell a lot. Where are you looking at.
Sit dress walk - tells who you are.
When saying something about a denial - shake your head.
Talk from the heart. Gesture by holding to the heart. SINCERITY.
(clap hands is a sign to fight)
Sincere smile.
Dr Paul Ekman.
Picture: genuine smile. Looks in the camera. Look like something has changed you.
Brows down anger and stress (jaws locked) Brows up - fear and surprise.
Take your audience to your level to understand how you feel. Be relaxed.
Remorse - closing eyes indicates thinking of what to say. Frown indicates stress.
Rubbing your thumb indicated self-assurance. In low self esteem.
VOICE: Speed rhythm. Pace tone. (modulated and slow)
Ronald Reagan - voice
Barrack Obama - 'you know what they say? They say.... This day will [never come]. They say.... [our sights were set too high]. They said...this country [was too divided]
Starts low - build up. THEN LET THE AUDIENCE HAVE IT.
Like a baptist preacher.
Voice become what you should feel. Feel something really powerful.
McCain - nasal voice: technician. Unadorned voice - congruent with what he says. Blunt and straight forward.
Hilary broke - the word election.
Layered voice analysis - LVA
Point (gesture) and look in congruence. Eyes tell a lot. Where are you looking at.
Sit dress walk - tells who you are.
When saying something about a denial - shake your head.
Talk from the heart. Gesture by holding to the heart. SINCERITY.
(clap hands is a sign to fight)
Sincere smile.
Dr Paul Ekman.
Picture: genuine smile. Looks in the camera. Look like something has changed you.
Brows down anger and stress (jaws locked) Brows up - fear and surprise.
Take your audience to your level to understand how you feel. Be relaxed.
Remorse - closing eyes indicates thinking of what to say. Frown indicates stress.
Rubbing your thumb indicated self-assurance. In low self esteem.
VOICE: Speed rhythm. Pace tone. (modulated and slow)
Ronald Reagan - voice
Barrack Obama - 'you know what they say? They say.... This day will [never come]. They say.... [our sights were set too high]. They said...this country [was too divided]
Starts low - build up. THEN LET THE AUDIENCE HAVE IT.
Like a baptist preacher.
Voice become what you should feel. Feel something really powerful.
McCain - nasal voice: technician. Unadorned voice - congruent with what he says. Blunt and straight forward.
Hilary broke - the word election.
Layered voice analysis - LVA
Life is a lie.
All of us have internal voices. Our internal voice is our sense of direction. Our sense of direction would determine our character. Our character and who we want to be needs to come from our constant internal voices.
Our internal voice is our defense system. It makes us strong. It makes us who we are. We are who we are only when we have a unique character. (if not we will just be ordinary) Tell myself who I am.
When we are in the wrong. Only ourselves can 'console' us. Only we determine whether it is a lesson or guilt.
The best liar convinces himself. The one who can convince himself during times of need has the best defence.
The best liar is convinced for who he is. When one is convinced he has character and is confident. Being confident one become who he really think he is.
The best liar lives the best.
Our internal voice is our defense system. It makes us strong. It makes us who we are. We are who we are only when we have a unique character. (if not we will just be ordinary) Tell myself who I am.
When we are in the wrong. Only ourselves can 'console' us. Only we determine whether it is a lesson or guilt.
The best liar convinces himself. The one who can convince himself during times of need has the best defence.
The best liar is convinced for who he is. When one is convinced he has character and is confident. Being confident one become who he really think he is.
The best liar lives the best.
Costly lessons
Just got my results.
Not too bad for my efforts. If they can be called efforts at all.
Just don't feel like doing anything now.
Lesson learnt:
1) no more last min
2) no more being late.
Always plan ahead.
Not too bad for my efforts. If they can be called efforts at all.
Just don't feel like doing anything now.
Lesson learnt:
1) no more last min
2) no more being late.
Always plan ahead.
Lord...
Lord I know you are there. And I know j am being a demanding child. Speak to me now and show me the way. Would you just hold me in your arms?
Thursday, July 12, 2012
The view of the journey.
On the way, one must stop to observe the sights.
Some of these scenes are enjoyable. Some of these passing views are picturesque.
We always have to learn how to slow down and enjoy the view.
Right now I am under the sun, sun-bathing. The best things in the world are free - the sun, the breeze, the sounds of the waves, the chill waters of the clear sea.
---
This trip has its ups and downs, like the hilly-roads in Santorini we had that as well. I dont want to narrate and recall such negative memories. Gatwick chair-plane-window seat-shout-blanket.
---
Perfection is sometimes easier than desiring to get the simple things right. Because there are variations to the definition of perfection. But to get the simple things right, the is no easy way out. That is - that.
---
I can't help but to compare myself some times. I feel like at this point i am not good enough.
But then again I am not putting in the effort to be better. I need to ensure that I am making the transactions.
I woke up earlier than usual today, but I went back to sleep. I need to learn how to do more productive things.
She has given me a mold and a fixed structure. She won't change much for me. Being adaptable, I will do the change. Work my way around the room that I have.
I would need to learn how to do things faster and explain myself clearer. I need to wipe anger off of my dictionary.
Some of these scenes are enjoyable. Some of these passing views are picturesque.
We always have to learn how to slow down and enjoy the view.
Right now I am under the sun, sun-bathing. The best things in the world are free - the sun, the breeze, the sounds of the waves, the chill waters of the clear sea.
---
This trip has its ups and downs, like the hilly-roads in Santorini we had that as well. I dont want to narrate and recall such negative memories. Gatwick chair-plane-window seat-shout-blanket.
---
Perfection is sometimes easier than desiring to get the simple things right. Because there are variations to the definition of perfection. But to get the simple things right, the is no easy way out. That is - that.
---
I can't help but to compare myself some times. I feel like at this point i am not good enough.
But then again I am not putting in the effort to be better. I need to ensure that I am making the transactions.
I woke up earlier than usual today, but I went back to sleep. I need to learn how to do more productive things.
She has given me a mold and a fixed structure. She won't change much for me. Being adaptable, I will do the change. Work my way around the room that I have.
I would need to learn how to do things faster and explain myself clearer. I need to wipe anger off of my dictionary.
Purpose & Direction
Today and yesterday. I feel like I have lost all purpose and direction.
I don't know where I am heading and I don't know how to achieve them.
I used to be able to plan. I used to be able to express myself properly and succinctly. What has happened in the interim?
I don't really know where I am going ad well.
Is the addition in my life slowing me down? I feel like I am invisible to her some times. There are times where she doesn't need me and when she loathes
me. Totally hates it when she snaps at me 'go away'.
Most of the time i wait for her. I feel like I am not doing things at my own pace. And I am bound. Half the time I worry about our future, what I need to do for her and her family. I know they might not need my help and these are far fetched thinking. But these still occurs to me. It is the part of me that assumes responsibility and cares which did the thinking.
She doesn't know these.
I know I have sacrificed so much for her. Even some of my friends know it, but sometimes I feel like she doesn't realise it. I feel like I have nothing but her now.
I don't know where I am heading and I don't know how to achieve them.
I used to be able to plan. I used to be able to express myself properly and succinctly. What has happened in the interim?
I don't really know where I am going ad well.
Is the addition in my life slowing me down? I feel like I am invisible to her some times. There are times where she doesn't need me and when she loathes
me. Totally hates it when she snaps at me 'go away'.
Most of the time i wait for her. I feel like I am not doing things at my own pace. And I am bound. Half the time I worry about our future, what I need to do for her and her family. I know they might not need my help and these are far fetched thinking. But these still occurs to me. It is the part of me that assumes responsibility and cares which did the thinking.
She doesn't know these.
I know I have sacrificed so much for her. Even some of my friends know it, but sometimes I feel like she doesn't realise it. I feel like I have nothing but her now.
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