Purpose & Direction

Today and yesterday. I feel like I have lost all purpose and direction.

I don't know where I am heading and I don't know how to achieve them.

I used to be able to plan. I used to be able to express myself properly and succinctly. What has happened in the interim?

I don't really know where I am going ad well.

Is the addition in my life slowing me down? I feel like I am invisible to her some times. There are times where she doesn't need me and when she loathes
me. Totally hates it when she snaps at me 'go away'.

Most of the time i wait for her. I feel like I am not doing things at my own pace. And I am bound. Half the time I worry about our future, what I need to do for her and her family. I know they might not need my help and these are far fetched thinking. But these still occurs to me. It is the part of me that assumes responsibility and cares which did the thinking.

She doesn't know these.

I know I have sacrificed so much for her. Even some of my friends know it, but sometimes I feel like she doesn't realise it. I feel like I have nothing but her now.